John, on the other hand, does not have it within him to satisfy her needs. The more anger she displays for his un-involvement, the more detached he becomes.He didn't see it modeled by his father and his masculine, competitive temperament is not given to romantic endeavors. In the early years, John tries to accommodate Diane occasionally. This inflames his wife with each greater hostility. I know your advice is: “Walk away and don’t look back. Dear Eileen, I must admit, I’m always surprised when advice that I think is straightforward ends up being confusing for a reader. Walking away is not saying, “Jim, so where is this relationship going? ” or “How come I don’t hear from you during the week? ” Those are all weak attempts to negotiate with him.
To be sure, she can be a formidable opponent in the art of infighting.
The problem has its origins in childhood, long before a young man and woman stand at the altar to say, "I do." For her part, the girl is taught subtly by her culture that marriage is a lifelong romantic experience; that loving husbands are entirely responsible for the happiness of their wives; that a good relationship between a man and woman should be sufficient to meet all needs and desires; and that any sadness or depression that a woman might encounter is her husband's fault.
At least, he has the power to eradicate it if he cares enough.
Unfortunately, the man of the house was taught some misconceptions in his formative years, too.
He learned, perhaps from his father, that his only responsibility is to provide materially for his family.