My boyfriend said, “I want to marry her.” So the uncle actually offered to come and see me.
I refused because I didn’t want us to get that serious, but I appreciated the family’s response.
The tribal leaders try to help and settle disputes, but there are a lot of secret deals going on.
You can never ever change that and if you insist, they will just hide things from you.
I also offered help with completing forms that require their personally identifiable information, go with him to the bank, to the office of the company he works for, to his accountant/tax agent. I must give credit to my boyfriend’s cousins and friends for helping me get to the truths about him and their culture.
I’m fortunate that he counts some pious, honest men as his friends. 3) Be very clear from the beginning that you will not agree to be in a polygamous relationship. One year into the relationship, my boyfriend still blurted out that someday he will go and have an arranged marriage in Pakistan.
I’m a very independent woman and this was hard for me to do.
However, in their culture the man takes care of everything that his wife needs.
All money and assets are owned by the whole extended family.Then he will come back and we will carry on as boyfriend and girlfriend.I think he thought I was so in-love with him that I was willing to give up my values.4) Never ever pay for anything, except gifts on special occasions or maybe splitting costs for an expensive holiday or buying a house.It was his friends who taught me this valuable lesson.